ARE YOU AN INSIGNIFICANT OTHER?!

(Insignificantly Dating??)

I've been talking to a lot of fabulous women about their dating lives and of course sharing about mine as well :)…and I've noticed a lot of us are dating with no real title.. most women I run across are saying that they've been dating their guy for some time now…they do all the things that could fall under a relationship, but there is no real obligation or commitment on the man's part.  I started thinking…What the hell is this all about?! ..What does it all mean?!…Its clearly not a jump off situation because we all know what that is!! :/...And it's more of a connection than just that…But its definitely not girlfriend status either…So what category do all these fabulous women fall under?!..and is it o.k to be in this category?!…So I thought about it some more and weighed the pros and cons of this limbo status… The pros are great dates, good conversation, comfortability, and great sex!! …so this could be good right?! lol…but the con is that there is no clear direction involved in this kind of relationship. All this hanging/dating can lead to absolutely no where! Especially if the man has no intention on ever progressing in the relationship…and chances are he's not going to give you the memo!… And I'm noticing that men are really winning by dating in this limbo status because they get all the perks of having a "Girlfriend" without having to be committed or consistent…But are we as women winning by being in this status?… Of course the answer will vary… Some women are completely comfortable with this style of dating because they are multi-dating too! ;)…But If you're looking to build with someone.. Pay attention to the details of the relationship!…Know what type of relationship you're signing up for…and most of all know the difference between being the Significant other and the Insignificant Other! ;) xo   

SIGNS TO LET YOU KNOW IF YOU'RE AN INSIGNIFICANT OTHER

1.  When your friends and family ask what your relationship status is with this person, you get uncomfortable because you don't even know what to call it! 

* And if you're unsure..Clearly it's because he's not making it known to you.. where the two of you stand!..and If a man wants you to be his girlfriend you'll be the first to know! ;)

2.  There's no expectation of when you'll see him again…You're accustomed to not having no expectation from him

3.  Although you might do a lot of "Boyfriend/Girlfriend" things together..When it comes down to the important stuff, Holidays, Family Gatherings, Hard Times..Its no guarantee they'll be there for you!

NOTE: IN NO WAY AM I SAYING THAT THE PERSON YOU ARE DATING DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU IF YOU FALL UNDER THE INSIGNIFICANT OTHER CATEGORY…JUST DON'T BE SURPRISED THAT IF SOMEONE ELSE BECOMES HIS SIGNIFICANT OTHER WHILE THE TWO OF YOU HAVE BEEN INSIGNIFICANTLY DATING!

sig·nif·i·cant oth·er

Noun:

A person with whom someone has an established romantic or sexual relationship. Key Word: Established! ;)

Sex Toys..Who Needs Boys!!

The Lil Pink Pleasures Every Single Girl Must Have! ;)

Shhhhhh...We're not suppose to talk about Sex Toys!! But they're Soooo Much Fun and Feeeel Sooooo Gooood!!!...So why not talk about them my Sexy Single Ladies!!  Because we all need them...These little colorful vibrating treasures are connected to our Sexual Sanity more than most know!!  How can us Single Girls possibly go on date after date, make out session after make out session and movie night after movie night without giving in to Hot and Heavy Steamy Sex!!! ...When we know its too soon in the relationship or we just don't know the man well enough to consider giving up our most valuable goods!!...I'll tell you how!! Single Girls... Please choose a Pretty Pink Toy of your choice!! :) And say hello to your New Best Friend!! ...The balance to your Dating/Sex Life!!  With your New Little Keep Sake available at your beckon call...There is absolutely No Reason for your Pretty Lil Lace Panties to fall... Any day sooner than when you are Truly Ready!! ;)

Here Are A List Of Some Pink Pleasures That Are Known To Please!! ;) All Under $30

 

bnaughty

rubber duck vibrator

high intensity bullet vibrator

ice massager

ramsey rabbit

slinky pinky

On The Dating Scene...Will Return Shortly! ;)

I Have To Move On Contract!!

When You Gotta Give Yourself Tough Love and Move On!!

Going Into 2011 Right!!

Sometimes it's really hard to move on from a dating situation because you want it to work so bad!.. Although, you know it's not the best thing for you, you can't seem to walk away! The more he rejects you the more you want to attempt to make it work or try to get to the bottom of why he's not that into you anymore.. You feel yourself going into a downward spiral emotionally over the rejection!!... This is when it's time for you to pull it together and make a commitment to yourself about what you will and will not allow yourself to go through emotionally for the love or attention of a man... Its time for some Tough Love!.... Contract Please!! 

Dear Me,

The reason why you're going to move forward from this situation is because its bringing too much emotional and mental confusion. Since you've been dealing with this person you have allowed him to consume your mind. You spend way too much time trying to figure him out, ways to impress him and ways to get his attention..It shouldn't be this hard!! Don't allow someone's lack of interest make you question your worth, beauty, and capabilities of having a good man. Do not allow the potential of what you think something "Could Be" make you feel like you have to hang in there or chase a man so that you don't miss out on an "Opportunity". Remember, your blessings are "God Given" and no one can take that away from you! If something is meant to be...it will be!  So with that being said...You will move forward...

* You will not chase him anymore

* You will not make him a daily project to focus on

* You will not be depressed over him because things didn't work

* You will accept that he's just not that into you...and that's o.k! :)

* You will not talk about this situation Allll Day with your girlfriends

* You will still have a positive attitude towards future dating

* And you will never again compromise your values, personality, or who you are as a person to win a man ...He needs to win you...Because you are the Prize! :)

PRINT, SIGN AND BELIEVE!! :)

X_______________________________________________

What Message Are You Sending?!

When Dating...Do You Get Back What You Give Off?!...

So, I've been doing a lot of thinking...Just about the dynamics of dating and why so many great women are complaining that they're not getting what they want out of their dating experiences.  I myself wonder sometimes..What could us women be doing wrong that's not leading us to Dating Bliss...hmmm...Then I had to ask all the Fab girls I know and ask myself...Is there something us ladies are giving off to men that's attracting the same B.S over and over again?!  After talking with the girls and a few glasses of wine later ;) ...We all started analyzing our behavior when dating and the common thread problems that seem to follow us through most of our dating experiences. Although, it would be easy just to blame the men for our issues ( Because sometimes it really does come down to choosing the wrong type of men :/ ).. We knew we still needed to be open minded and take a real good look at ourselves!...Because every smart girl knows a man can only do to you...What you allow him to do! ... So, then it made us ask ourselves..What message are we sending to men?!  Are we coming across Desperate for Love?!..Easy?!..Insecure?! Or even Needy?! and if so Ladies...This is a major problem! :/  Us as Single Women need to be at our best mentally, physically and emotionally as individuals before we can even consider dating! The Only Message we need to send to men..Is that we are Confident, Happy with Self, and Possibly Available for dating...But never Available for the B.S! :) The only way we can honestly get this message across is if we are truly living by it!  So, my Fellow Single Ladies... make sure you are 100% right with yourself..Knowing your worth, feeling good about yourself as an individual whether you are in a relationship or not...and most of all truly knowing what you are looking for when dating...Because what you give off when first meeting a man will definitely define the direction of the relationship! ...So please choose your message wisely! ;)   JM

Mr. Bargain Shopper!...Beware!!

WHEN QUALITY WOMEN JUST DON'T COUNT!

Ladies I'm sure you've been just as frustrated as I have been in the past. When you're seeing a guy (Nonexclusive) and you know that you have all the great qualities that any man with half of a brain would appreciate! You're beautiful, smart, sexy, independent, and can cook a mean ass meal!! ;) But the dude you are seeing just doesn't seem to recognize that you are any different from the Hot Messes that he is dealing with!! :/... I'm sure you can give credit to other women when its due and you might be saying to yourself.."Ok maybe he likes one girl because she has a nice body and then the other girl because she's pretty...But I'm the total Package!! Why is he not acknowledging me as such! "  If this is your case...News Flash!! You are dating Mr. Bargain Shopper!! He's a guy thats looking for quantity and not quality. He's not looking for Mrs. Right...He's looking for Miss Right Now! So he's not really appreciating what you bring to the table because it has no relevance when looking for temporary satisfaction...Kinda like how us Fashionistas don't mind wearing cheapy trends of the moment ...You're not so concerned with the quality...because you know you're only going to wear it a few times...and then toss it!  Thats the mentality of Mr. Bargain Shopper! (BEWARE!) He's dating different women, but he's not quite ready for a committed relationship. Therefore, When he's choosing women to date... quality isn't that important at the time. He's just looking for someone who is pretty and sexy that he can have fun with! So, If you want a Man to appreciate and acknowledge the Fabulous Catch that you are...Try dating Mr. Luxury Shopper!! Someone who knows Quality when he sees it!! ;)

Here are a few signs of Mr. Bargain Shopper!

Mr.Bargain Shopper!

1.  When you're out with him, He can't seem to keep his eyes off of everything walking by in stilettos!

2.  When you hear about or see the other women he is dating..His choice in women range from everything from a Mess to you..Classy!

3. He doesn't seem to care about your dreams, goals or aspirations...He only seems to be concerned with you're availability for him and things that relate to your physical

4. He doesn't show much appreciation for your qualities and you get the feeling that you are disposable! :/ 

* Ladies need I say more?!  I think we're pretty clear here!! xoxo to all my Quality Ladies!! :)

Hot Sex Finally!! So You Thought... :/

Uggggh...What's A Girl To Do When A Guy Just Doesn't Get It?!

           

Don't you just hate when you think you found the perfect guy..He's Cute, Smart,Sexy,Accomplished,Romantic...and did I say Sexy?! mmmhmmm ;). You've been dating him for some time now and the chemistry just feels so right...Giiiirl you can't wait to have sex with him!! I mean you waited long enough right?!...You even have on that new lacy lingerie that you bought specifically for this night!! Its getting hot and heavy and now its time for the main event..and theeeeen...OMG...You say to yourself..." Is that what I've been waiting for?!...ugggh :/ "   But then you find yourself...saying out loud..." Ohhhhhh" just because you feel faking it is the right thing to do to make the experience worth while for him! Us women are so considerate right?!.. But that's Definitely not going to solve the problem!! So...What's a girl to do?! I mean you like him..right? He's good in every other department...right? So now you're thinking, if we can just get on the same page sexually..Then everything will be perfect!  But, most of us girls don't know how to approach this Dilemma!  So...Here are some Bedroom Dilemma Tactics!! :)

1. Lead By Example- People have their own style when it comes to Bedroom Play,  A Great way to get your new love to play your way!.. Is to show him what you like by being the Leading Lady in the Bedroom...If you're not comfortable expressing yourself verbally...showing him through your actions will do the job! He'll follow your Body Language and in due time you'll be speaking the same Language,Sexually ;)

2.  Pillow Talk- This is one of the most intimate times you share with your Love Interest...Take advantage of these moments, try to use this time to share your thoughts and desires.  Start by asking him what he likes in the Bedroom and what you can do to better please him..he'll think "Wow...She's really considerate"..This is just the set up Ladies..lol.. So he can be open minded and interested in your wants And once he's done telling you what he likes..It would only be right for you to tell him what you like! :)

3. Sex Talk- This approach is for the Bold & Talkative! ..Most guys get really turned on by verbal innuendos ..And they're definitely alert and receptive in the Bedroom! If you're confident and comfortable with expressing your desires...I'm sure he'll be interested and turned on by what you have to say ;)

*Wishing All My Single Ladies A Happy Fulfilling Satisfying Sex Life!! ;) xoxo

Great Suggestions for 1st Dates..That Leads to 2nd and 3rd Dates!! ;)

First dates are so exciting,but sometimes the anticipation can be a lil stressful! There's so many things for us girls to think about... From what to wear, hair, and of course things to talk about!!  When on a first date you want to be in an atmosphere..where you can get to know your new love interest, but also have a form of entertainment that helps the date flow with ease! ;) Here are a few of my Top Suggestions for 1st Dates..That Leads to 2nd and 3rd Dates!! 

1. Sushi Class at Restaurant-  This is a great first date if the two of you love Sushi!! Its a date where you have to work together to make the perfect meal! You can have a lot of good convo while making your fave rolls...and no one can deny..there's something super sexy about eating Sushi!! ;)

2. Bowling- The perfect casual date that is sooo much fun!! It allows you to see the lighter side to your date... There will be some friendly competition and lots of laughs....You can be Fun and Flirty while beating him in bowling and winning him over! 

3. The Museum- For all you Art Lovers!! You can take a long stroll indoors.. while viewing beautiful art and having intimate and intriguing word play! You'll be sure to have interesting things to talk about..From expressing your opinion on art to sharing the little details you want your date to know about Sexy Creative You! 

4. Hiking- This is a great day time date! Casual and laid back with a serene setting..Being out doors can be very therapeutic which can lead to really good conversation. With the sun beaming and bright smiles..and not to mention firm buns! You'll be sure to make an impression on your date!

5. Fondue Restaurant- mmmmm...Dipping food into sauce... now thats sexy!! lol ;) You'll be Canoodling with your date in no time!... Sharing strawberries dipped in chocolate while having intimate talk...Sweeeeet!! 

* Enjoy Single Girls!!...Enjoy!! :)

Sex...Is It Too Soon?!

Who are we fooling ladies?!...We love sex just as much as men do!  It would be great if we could indulge in whatever we want, whenever we want, with whoever we want...But the truth of the matter is... Eve convinced Adam to bite that damn apple and we've been paying the price ever since!! :/... When it comes to sex we just can't do what men can do!! Now of course if you're just looking to play..Then Ladies you can do as you please!!, But If you're looking to build on a relationship with a man...There are unspoken rules that you must follow when it comes to the timeline of having sex!  I've spoken to so many men about this topic and they all confirmed that if a woman gives up the goods to soon ..He's out just as fast as she gave it! Chances are, he'll never call her again...or if she was good in bed he might continue to call her, but only for sex and the relationship will not progress to anything deeper.  Ladies, I know it can be hard not to indulge in a moment of passion...Especially when you meet a man and the chemistry is so good, He's super sexy and the curiosity is there to see what he is sexually made of!!...mmmm ;) ....But if you're also curious about how far the relationship can go I advice you to control your inner sex kitten and allow the relationship to progress in stages.  Give the relationship a fair shot...And the only way you can accomplish this, is if the man you're dating respects you just as much as he desires you! 

Think about it...When you first meet a man and he thinks you're hot, of course he thinking immediate satisfaction and he wants to have sex with you!!  In the beginning that's going to be his main goal... He'll take you out to dinners, do the cute texting and basically anything you want him to do..In hopes that it will lead to sex!! Honestly Ladies, we can't be mad at that!..It's just a part of the mental make up of a man...But as a woman, we have to show them that there is more to us then just a night of hot sex! ...The goal here is to not sleep with him fast so he can start liking you for you...And while he's taking you on all these dates to reach his goal...Your job is to make him see all the great qualities you have. As you spend more time with him he'll start to genuinely enjoy being around...And although he still wants to have sex with you..Its no longer the main objective... Don't get me wrong ..It's definitely on his list of things to do ;) But getting to know you and spending time with you all of a sudden appeared on his little list as well! ;) 

The million dollar question amongst us girls,has always been..."How long do I have to wait to have sex with him for him to respect me?!" The truth of the matter is..There is no set amount of time... You'll hear stories of a girl having a one night stand with a guy and then they became happily married..You'll also hear stories of a girl who dated a guy for 8 months before sleeping with him and the relationship didn't work..So nothing is set in stone and there are always the exceptions to the rule!  But, if we're going to make a logical decision on how long you should wait before giving what's most valuable to you, to a man you are dating..I would say wait until you're truly confident that this guy really likes you for you! And ladies... That takes time!! Most men are on their best behavior in the beginning...So you have to spend enough time with your potential to learn the good and bad qualities that he possess. You need to see what else the relationship is built on besides sexual chemistry...And although there is no guarantee that if you make him wait the relationship will work.. It's better to know if you're taking a chance on a good hand of cards then to gamble what's most valuable to you on a hand of cards you didn't get to see! So ladies take your time...Believe me he'll wait! And he'll actually want you more and respect you more if you make him earn it...It's for you to show him how valuable you really are!! ;)

* JUST TO PUT THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE... HERE ARE A FEW THINGS IN LIFE THAT HAVE A TIMELINE :)

1.  Approval For A Home Loan- For Final Underwriting Approval, Appraisal, Title Search, Home Inspection, Verification Of Income/Credit etc... Several Weeks..Easily To Two Months...Could Take Longer If  You Didn't Dot All The I's and Cross All The T's ;)

2. Approval For Health Insurance-  Once Proven That You're In Good Health and Doctors Get Your Records To The Insurance Company, etc.. Estimated Time Is Approximately 30 Days To Get Approved After Submission..However This Is No Guarantee ..Could Take Longer! 

3. Reservations At Babbo's In N.Y.C- Ummmm A Month!! ...And That's Just To Eat!!

So Ladies...I'm Confident When Saying...I Know We All Value Ourselves Waaay More Than Everything  On This List...So When Asking The Question...Is It Too Soon To Have Sex?! ...You Do The Math!!  Just Think Logical...Because Everything In Life That Has Value Is Worth Waiting For! ;)

The Era of Microwave Dating...Can Anybody Get A Home Cooked Meal Around Here?!

Lately I've been hearing so many of us ladies complaining about how men don't really put much effort into the true essence of dating. We're all wondering...what happened to the walks in the park, catching a late night movie or just doing the simple things like getting some ice cream together?? It seems to me that speed dating has become the new way of dating. So many people are meeting and going on a couple of dates and sleeping together....Then wondering why all the details and romance of dating is nonexixtent! I had to put some thought into this Epidemic...and then I realized OMG!! Its the Era of Microwave Dating!!! Ladies...This is Bad!! I mean, think about it...Remember how it felt to have a home cooked meal...all the preperation that was put into it...the time it would take to cook to perfection ...the smell in the air and the anticipation of that first bite...mmmmm it was worth waiting for! Thats the mentality that we need men to have about us women...we are that home cooked meal!!!..We don't want to be like that box that you pop into the microwave oven..then its done in five minutes and just something quick to hold a man over!!! No...thats unexceptable!! The only way men will start to savor us like that home cooked meal is if we handle our dating with the same formula... So Here's the ingredients for the dating recipe!! ;) 

1. Choose Quality When Dating

2. Take The Time Out To Really Get To Know Who You Are Dating learn About His Character

3. Make Sure That He Is Taking The Time To Really Get To Know You As Well for All the Right Reasons

4. Enjoy Dating...Movies, Talks, And Simply Hanging Out To See If The Chemistry Is Real

5. Pace Yourself...Don't Rush Romance By Getting Caught Up With Lust

6. As Time Progresses And The Two Of You Are Getting Closer...You Might Present An  Appetizer ;)

7. But Never Give The Full Course Meal Until It's Earned And Well Deserved!!

When The Hunter Is Being Hunted!!

Why So Many Men Stopped Pursuing and Courting Women

Hunter A: Hey Man, Why Don't You Have On Your Hunting Gear?! We're Suppose To Go Hunting Today!...We're Not Going To Catch Any Deer If We Don't Go Out And Get it!!

Hunter B: Oh No, I Don't Really Have The Desire to Hunt Anymore...Do You See All the Deer?! They're So Accessible! ...It's No Fun Anymore... There's No Challenge In Chasing Deer that Doesn't Run!!

Ladies!!!! There's a Dating Epidemic!!!...That we need to be Aware of and Address!! Men Are Not Pursuing Women the Way they use to! There has been a Major Role Reversal and Women are Now Pursuing Men!! I'm Not Saying there is Anything Wrong with a Woman Knowing what she Wants, But I do think that a Woman Should be a bit Elusive and let the Man Show his Interest and Put his Best Foot Forward. We all know that Men Love a Challenge! Why do you Think they sit in Front of the T.V All Day Playing Video Games Yelling at the Screen So Passionately!!! It's the Challenge of Winning!! If You are Interested in a Man, it's Okay to Give Signals that Allows him to know that you won't Reject him if he Approaches you, But if you Pursue a Man it Takes Away from the Initial Challenge of him Wondering if he will ever be Fortunate Enough to have a Woman like you! But, it Seems like a lot of Women are Getting Nervous about Landing a Good Guy (Which I Completely Understand!!).. But, Some Women are Running around like there's a Giuseppe Zanotti Sample Sale and there's Only One Pair of Shoes Left in their Size!!!....Ladies, Men See this Desperate Behavior in Us....and Guess what?!...They Are The One Pair of Giuseppe Stilettos that a Group of Aggressive Women are Fighting Over!...and Men are Loving Every Minute of it! Now with that being said, There is a Large Group of Women who do Believe in a Man Pursuing and Courting a Woman( Including Myself!) and we Feel like we are Getting the Bad End of the Deal because Men Think we are too High Maintenance since they have become Accustomed to Women Going after them and Not having as many Expectations. Men are now able to Multi-Date and Have so many Options without having to do much and a lot of Men are getting Lazy in their Efforts in Impressing and Courting a Woman. I Think if ALL Women had Higher Standards and Made Men Feel they Had to Earn Our Time and Attention..Men wouldn't have a Choice in how to Treat Us...Ladies Remember, Men Have as Many Options as we Give them!! So,They would Know they Had to Respect us and Take the Time out to Get to Know Us if that was our Standard...And that's when Men will Step up and Do the Nice and Thoughtful things that All Women Desire. But, Because so many Women are having Sex Fast and Not Really Setting Standards...It's Changing the Dynamics of the Dating Scene and Boy! Are the Men Benefiting From This!!! ... So, I Say All of this to Say, Let's Try to Set the Bar on How We Behave and Interact with Men, How We Expect to be Treated By Men and How we Will Go about Getting a Man!...Because I'm a Strong Believer that If a Man Is interested in You, He will Pursue You! Men are Natural Born Hunters...So, Lets Give them a Bit of a Challenge and Lets Be a Bit of a Chase! ;)

P.S Once He Pursues You and the Two of You are Dating...Lets Not Forget Our Standards!!! :)

Reverse Psychology?! ...When the Wrong Tries To Make Himself Right! Oh....I Don't Think So!

So you've been Dating your Guy for Some Time now.., The Two of You have a Great Chemistry, Have a lot in Common and Sex...Well it's just Amazing! You Feel like the Two of you Get Along Well and the Relationship is going in a Good Direction...Then Comes the Disagreements!...Which is Completely Normal in Every Relationship. Sometimes he'll be Right and you'll be Wrong ..And Then there will be Times when you are Right and he is Clearly Wrong! ....So why isn't he just Admitting he's Wrong and Apologizing?! Well Ladies...There are Two Types of Men in this World...One, Is a Man who can Admit when he's Wrong, Apologize and Do what he has to Do to Fix it! ( No One's Perfect So You Gotta Love em! ) and then there's the Other Type of Man, The One that knows he's Wrong...But he tries to Convince you that you're Wrong with a Little Strategy Called Reverse Psychology!!Now this is the thing...How you handle the Situation when he's is using this Tactic will tell him so much about you! If he uses Reverse Psychology on you and you Allow him to make you feel Bad or Apologize when you Know you are Not Wrong..He will feel he has the Upper Hand in the Relationship. Once he sees that you are willing to Back Down from your Stance or Principles...Just so he won't be Mad at you or for the Sake of not having a Disagreement, Whether you realize it or not...he will Lose Respect for you! and He will Constantly try to use this Tactic in all Disagreements. So Ladies...Make Sure You Stand by your Beliefs or Position if you Truly Feel You are Right.. It's a Good Quality to be able to Admit when your Wrong about Something, But It's Never O.K to Back Down If you Know you're Right!...And Any Real Man wouldn't want a Push Over as his Lady..He would want a Woman with a Back Bone Standing by his Side!!  Will Smith and Jada Pinkett...Need I Say More! ;)

Signs That Your Guy Is Using Reverse Psychology on You!

1.  He Uses Silence As His Weapon Until You Apologize

2.  He Starts Bringing Up Past Situations Of Things That You Were Wrong For That Having Nothing To Do With The Present Situation That He Is Wrong For

3.  He Starts To Talk About Breaking Up With You When You Try To Address Him About What He Did Wrong

4.  He Tries To Make You Believe That The Reason The Relationship Isn't Working Is Because You Are Always Accusing Him Of Something

5. Straight Up and Down..He Tries To Convince You That You Are Crazy!! :/

* My Fellow Fabulous Girls!!! Under No Circumstance Do You Fall For This!!  You Have To Be Willing To Hold Your Ground..No Matter How Long It Takes And No Matter How Upset Your Guy Gets With You (He's Banking On You Folding First!)...If Your Right...You're Right!! Be Patient And Keep Your Position. Once Your Guy Sees That Your Not Backing Down...He'll Come Around! With An Apology Of Course And Hopefully Some Flowers!! ;)

The 10 Laws of Dating

1.  Thou Shall Pay Attention To All Red Flags That A Man Displays And Not Disregard The Signs Because Of His Looks, Financial Status Or Because Of  Sexual Attraction

2.  Thou Shall Not Compromise Morals, Standards And Beliefs For The Attention Of A Man

3.  Thou Shall Not Have The Mentality That Sex Will Win A Man Over

4.  Thou Shall Not Chase A Man Or Pursue A Man That Clearly Isn't Or No Longer Interested In You

5.  Thou Shall Always Be Confident And Never Forget Your Worth... No Matter If A Man Is Interested In You Or Not

6.  Thou Shall Not Allow A Man To Disrespect You Or Mistreat You

7.  Thou Shall Always Use Protection When Dating And Having Hot Sex!!

8.  Thou Shall Not Change Who You Are To Try To Make A Man Happy Or To Impress A Man

9.  Thou Shall Never Be In Denial About Your Position With A Man

10. Thou Shall Know When To Exit A Relationship!!

THE CONVENIENCE FACTOR!!!

(The Unspoken Must Have!)

Convenience: Definition, n. The Quality of Being Suitable to One's Comforts, Purposes, or Needs

Ladies, When I Tell you for the Longest Time I was So Mind Boggled by Some of the Choices that Men were Making in Women!!  Have You Ever Dated a Bachelor (Nonexclusive) and When you saw his other Choices in Women you are Totally Floored!!  You just Don't Understand why he would Date this Person and you're Thinking to Yourself..."How Could He Possibly like Me but Also Like Herrrrrrrr...She's Not Even that Hot?!"  Or Maybe you were Dating a Guy and Things just Didn't Progress How you Would've Liked, Maybe he was just Too Busy with Work??!!,  So You Thought!..Until you Found out he's is Seeing Someone Else and he's Spending So Much Time with Herrrrrrr?! and Last but Not Least..The Real Ego Bruiser!!..You were Dating a Guy and He Claimed that he wasn't Ready to be in a Relationship, Yet you Find out that when you and him Parted Ways ... Not too Long After... Someone Else has the Girlfriend Title....aaaaand its Herrrrrr?!!!  This is When Our Minds Start Getting the Best of Us!  And Us Women Can't Help but Wonder..."What is Wrong with Meeee?..Or What  Am I Missing??! ....and Ladies...I've Been there!...and it Can Totally Consume your Mind..and it Did!!....So, I Thought about all the Situations My Girlfriends and their Girlfriends had been Going Through...And Tried to Figure Out Why so Many Women were Saying that the Men they were Dating didn't Commit to them or Things just Died Out, but the Men they were Dating Ended Up with Someone Else...and then I Realized OMG!!!! Could It Be The Convenience Factor!!


    I Started Thinking about the Qualities that Men would Want in a Woman...Besides Men Wanting an Attractive, Confident, Self Efficient, Sexy, Smart, Attentive Woman.....Under Estimated But Just as Important!!!...She Has to have The Convenience Factor!! Now...Let Me Make One Thing Very Clear!...Convenience Doesn't MeanOverly Accessible!!! Convenience in this Matter Simply Means... A Woman Who Works Well with His Already Built Life, Interest and Desires. Right Now you're Probably saying..."Oh Really! So I'm Suppose to just be Moldable and Be his Personal Cookie Cutter?!" No, Ladies...I'm Definitely Not Saying That!! But What I am Noticing is that...Men Aren't Always Going to Choose Beauty or the Most Successful Woman Over the Cool Girl with the Laid back Personality that Adapts Well....Think about it, When you Choose Your Besties...Usually You Start Off Liking Them because they have the Same Interest as You Do! Spending Time Together is Effortless...It Flows with Ease and it has The Convenience Factor!! So When You Analyze it from a Man's Perspective,He's also Looking for a Woman who:


1. He Doesn't have to Change Who he is or the Things he Likes to do When he's in  Her Company
2.  Gets Along with His Friends Well Enough to be at his House While He's Watching the Game with them, So now he Has the Best of Both Worlds... his Boys and his Boo! ;)
3. Spends time with Him and it Flows with Ease, Because the Two of them Have A Lot of the Same Interest...Maybe She Doesn't Mind Seeing that Gory Action Flick with Him.


    These are Just Some of the Examples of The Convenience Factor.... I know it Might Seem like Such a Small Detail...But I Think it has Significance in the Success of a Relationship. I'm Sure You've Heard Guys Say..."She's just Too High Maintenance!" or  "Why Can't We Just Grab Something Quick to Eat and Chill?!"  When Men Feel There's too Much Difficulty in Getting to Know you, or Hang Out with you ...It Becomes Work to Them and Then its Undesirable!  Us Women have to have a Balance Of Remaining to be Who We are While Entering their World and Making them Feel like You Belong in it!!  As if You're the Perfect Fit!...When the Guy You're Dating Can Hang out with you and His Friends at the Same Time, Watch Sports with You or Even Workout with You!! Chances are He'll See you more Often Because he Doesn't Have to Change who He is to be with you...When,  In the Beginning Stages of Dating... This Strategy is what Gets You to be on a More Consistent Bases with a Man...Next Thing you Know! He Wants to See You All the Time...And I Guarantee ...Besides the Fact that you are Attractive, Confident, Self Efficient, Sexy, Smart and Attentive....You Also Have The Convenience Factor! ;)

Insecure Single Girl...Stays Single!

I Know that a Breakup can make you Feel Really Insecure. You Question Whether or Not you're Still as Desirable to Men, you Look in the Mirror and Wonder if you should Lose Weight or if you have what it takes to Really be Apart of the Dating Scene. A Breakup can make the Most Confident Girl Question her Worth!  This is a Normal Phase to go through, But this can Become a Problem if you Start to Obsess over your Flaws. No one is Perfect, We all have things that we Wish we could Change about Ourselves. You Need to Love All of you and Honestly Speaking, that's the Only way Someone Else Can! If you're Constantly Pointing out your Insecurities, you will become Less Desirable. No Man wants to be around a Woman who Constantly needs Reassurance that she's Beautiful or Desirable. Men are Attracted to Women that know their Worth and Exude Confidence.  As Women, We will Always have those Days where we just Don't Feel Hot! If you Can't get yourself out of the Dumps call a Girlfriend, She'll Remind you how Great you Really are until you Come Back to your Senses!! Beautiful Women come in all Shapes and Sizes. There's a Million Men out there that will Appreciate and Be Happy to Have You, But First You Have to Be Happy to Be You!!

Here's a Couple Of Strategies to Use When Feeling a Little Down About Yourself

photo by operationbeautiful.com

1. Go to the Mirror and Talk to Yourself... Point Out Everything About Yourself that you DO LOVE!!...And Yes...Say it Out Loud!!...You Need to Hear it!
2. Get Dressed Up and Go Out with Girlfriends...Have a Good Time, Celebrate Who You Are! ;)
3. Go to the Gym or Go for a Run...A Good Workout will Make You Feel Productive and Better About Yourself
4. Read A Good Book About Self Improvement..It Helps you to Put Your Thoughts in Perspective and You will Learn How to Set Realistic Goals to Better Yourself
5. Pamper Yourself...A Little Spa Treatment or Treat Yourself to Something Nice! It'll Remind You of The Divalicious Sexy Fab Girl You Truly are! ;)

It Was Good...Until It Wasn't!!!

Ladies, have you Ever been in a Situation with a Guy where Everything was Going Good...Until It Wasn't!! The Two of you were Going on Dates, Talking on the Phone, Really Getting to Know One Another. You've Gotten Pass the Stage of Wondering... If he's Going to just Hit and Run! (Or So You Think!).... You Feel like you're at a Pretty Good Place with your Dude...aaaaaannnnnd Thheeeeennnn  All of a Sudden you Weren't!! He Slowly Stopped Calling, Not Really Asking to See You As Much, and Now you Feel like You Barely Know the Guy... "I Mean, Did We Even Really Date?! " ...Is Running through your Mind Constantly.  Now you're Questioning Everything you Once Knew to be a Good Start to a Relationship! Normally, I Would Say... Sounds like Someone's Just Not That Into You!! But, I've been Doing My Research and it's Happening to an Astounding Amount of Women!! I Mean... Fabulous, Pretty, Smart, Sexy Woman!!!  Could it be that Men Lose Interest in Women that Easily because There's a New Flavor Introduced Everyday like Ice Cream! ...and What Ever Happened to a Man Letting you Know that he Decided to Exit the Building!!!  Has Silence Become the New Way of Saying its Over?!  What Happened to Closure?! Hmmmm... Let me Guess?!... Men Want to leave their Options Open!!  So, Ending it Would be Too Permanent! I'm Going to Further Investigate this Situation Ladies!...But in the Meantime Don't let a Man's Sudden Lack of Interest make You Question Your Fabulousness :)
And Ladies, If you Tried to Communicate with the Guy you were Seeing and he Avoids the Discussion...Pleeeeaaassse Don't Get So Caught up in Getting an Explanation from Him...That You Start Calling His Phone Like a Psycho Path!! When you Really think about it... The Reason He Has Moved On Doesn't Really Change the Fact that He Has Moved On...The Bottom Line Is, He Had a Change of Heart and Made a Decision to Not Tell you that He Wants to go in Another Direction!! But ...I Can Imagine How This Type of Behavior on His Part Can Drive Your Mind Crazy!!! I Can't Tell You the Details of Why He had a Change of Heart, But If Your Curiosity is there.... 
Here are Some of the Reason's Why Men Will Just Move on Without Much of An Explanation

1.  He Doesn't Want to Hurt Your Feelings
2.  He Doesn't Have the Balls to Tell You...( What a Loser!)
3.  He Lost Some Interest and Might be Focusing On a New Single Girl...But Feels He Might Want to Revisit the Situation with You at Some Point.... So He Puts You on the Back Burner while He Pursues other Options
4.  He Really Didn't Feel what the Two of You Had was Serious Enough to Give a Goodbye Speech...
5.  He's Not that Good at Communicating His Feelings, So Silence is the More Comfortable Route for Him