Hi Jazz,
I've been dating this guy for about a year now. Everything was going good in the beginning. He was attentive and always did nice things for me like take me out to dinners and would sometimes pick me up from work which I thought was really nice of him. As time went on I started noticing his efforts weren't the same. We would stay in and I would cook oppose to us going out to eat. He stopped picking me up from work and I found myself picking up takeout and bringing it home for us to eat. It seems to me in the last couple of months of our relationship I'm the one putting in all the effort. I feel like I do so much to please him and to make him happy that he is falling short on his end. We don't even live together and I find myself straightening up his home and doing his laundry sometimes. It's almost like he expects it now and I'm accepting less. What can I do to get things back the way they were? Please help!
Lil Miss Pleaser
Hey Lil Miss Pleaser,
This is a Mistake that Us Fab Girls Make Way too Often!! We Can't Help but to Straighten up a Little Mess or Whip up a Mean Meal! ;) Besides the Fact we were Taught these Qualities as Little Girls...We also Do these Nice things because we want the Guy that we are Dating to Know we are a Good Catch! Of Course in the Beginning he was Doing all the Courting a Man should do when trying to Impress his Lady...But, When it Comes to Men... There is a Thin Line between them Impressing and Getting too Comfortable with Us! When you Started Over Extending yourself he Liked it!! And what Some Men tend to Do is Push the Bar Higher and Higher to See how Much we will Do for Them! It Doesn't Make Your Guy a Bad Person..But he's a Little Spoiled and Unfortunately He's Not Going to be Pleased with what I'm about to Say!! We have to Get things back in Perspective Here! No More Daily Routine of Cleaning his Home and Doing his Laundry, First of All,The Two of you Do Not live Together, However his Laundry was Getting Done Before he Met you... Is how it Needs to be Done Now! He's a Big Boy...He'll Figure it out ...You are Doing things that a Wife would Do.. But, why would he make you his Wife when you're Already Acting like One Without the Ring?! I'm Not Saying You Can't Help him out with these things sometimes...But it should be more like a Nice Gesture..Not a Responsibility. Now, As far as those Candle lit Dinners are Concerned...The Way You Can Get those Back..Is by Kindly Staying out of the Kitchen!! It's Time to Put Your Foot Down..Keep Suggesting to Go out to Eat...And If he Doesn't Catch on...Then thats when you Say to him..."I Don't mind Cooking for you some nights, but I Really Enjoy Eating out Sometimes as well..So I would like for you to meet me half way." Make it Clear to Him that the Only way this Relationship Can Progress is if The two of you are Willing to Please One Another! Oh and One More Thing!!..Start Asking him to pick you up from work Again and When he Does, Whip him up one of your Signature Dishes!!...He'll Love it!! And that's when he'll Catch on to the Rules of the Pleasing Game!!! ;)
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